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Cuphead, Mugman, and Ms. Chalice Meet Smurfs: The Lost Village/Transcript
Transcript *Cuphead: Hi! My Name Is Cuphead *Mugman: I'm Mugman *Ms. Chalice: and I'm Ms. Chalice *Cuphead: and We're Going To Meet Smurfs: The Lost Village *Mugman: Let's Go *Ms. Chalice: OMG *(Jumping On Leaves) *Snail: Ha-ha! Whee! *Papa Smurf: This story begins in a secret place hidden deep in a forest. *Clumsy Smurf: Whoa, whoa! *Papa Smurf: That is a smurf. We call him clumsy. And this is our village, where there's a smurf *for just about everything. Like Jokey. *Jokey Smurf: Hey, here's a present for you. *Gullible Smurf: Ah! *Jokey Smurf (laughing): Oh, Gullible Smurf, you're so gullible. Actually, I meant to give you this one. *Gullible Smurf: Wow! Thanks! *Jokey Smurf: (laughing) *Hefty Smurf: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100. *Papa Smurf: Here's hefty. And over here is... *Hefty Smurf: Now, for the *one-fingered pushup. One, two, three... *Papa Smurf: Meet Nerdy Smurf. *Brainy Smurf: Excuse me? Sorry, Brainy. Just kidding. Nosey. *Nosey Smurf: Hmm. Well, what's going on over there? *Papa Smurf: Paranoid smurf. Winner. *Grouchy Smurf: Hmm. *Papa Smurf: Loser. Karate Smurf. *Karate Smurf: Hyah! *Handy. Vanity. Farmer. Painter. Baker. Magician. Scuba. Policeman. Therapist. *Therapist Smurf: Sometimes I just feel blue. *There's even *table-eating smurf. *Oh, hi. *Yeah, we're not too sure about him, either. And then there's me, papa smurf. I sort of run this place. But this isn't a story about me. *Whoa... *Or clumsy. Or any of them. It's about the only girl in our village. Smurfette. *Smurfette: Hi, Laundry Smurf. *Laundry Smurf: Howdy-do, Smurfette. *Smurfette: Hey, guys. *Papa Smurf: But that's not the only thing that's different about Smurfette. She was created *by the evil wizard, Gargamel. Using dark magic...the made her from a lump of Clay. *Gargamel: Now, go and find smurf village. *Luckily, I knew *a little magic of my own. But there was still one problem. Smurfette's name doesn't tell us anything about her. Okay, the physics are... It doesn't tell us who she is. Hyah! High heels. Or what she does. So, what exactly is a Smurfette? Well, let me be frank. She's a rubbish Baker. Let's see. Smurfette. Smurfette, Smurfette, Smurfette. Huh. It's not here. Well, Smurfette is a combination of a smurf and an ette. But what's an ette? Oh, uh, yeah. Smurfette, well, she's... She's the greatest. The most wondrous creature on earth. Yes, you are. Smurfette... Um... Oh! I got it. This is one of those eternal questions that we'll never, ever know the answer to. Huh? Wait, she is? Do you think she heard me? So, what is a Smurfette? No one wanted that answer more than Smurfette herself. What are you doing? Oh. Hey, grouchy, I was just... Leaving? Um... This is my bench. I come here same time every day, and I... Ooh. Let me guess. "And grouch." Exactly. I can do that. I can grouch. Hi, grouchy. Hi, Smurfette. Nice day, huh? No, it's not. It's gonna rain! Which actually helps the plants grow. But also means it's gonna be cloudy, so, chew on that. Then again, there might be a rainbow. But rainbows are dumb. Just kidding. I love rainbows. Ugh. You're not very good at this, are ya? Uh, no, I'm not. In fact, you're actually kind of bad at it. Yup. But you're also bad at it. That's a lie. You're really, really good at it. Hi, brainy. Ah. Smurfette. Thank goodness you're here. I was... whoa! Whoa. We're running trials on my new invention. The Smurfy thing finder. Test subject, hefty smurf. Oh, hey, Smurfette! I mean, uh... Hey, Smurfette. Oh, hey. That thing's safe, right? - Is it safe? - Of course. I'd get back here if I were you. Snappy bug. Take this down. Smurfy thing finder trial 1.03. Ready, hefty? Roger that. Whoa! It works! Wow. This thing really gets me. It's able to hone in on hefty's dominant trait. Super strength. Which I distill into this. I call it brainy's super Smurfy power fuel. Here, you can try it first. All clear! Yeah, you see, when you say things like "all clear," it makes me not want to... Whoa! Hey, guys. Hi, clumsy. You're just in time to witness scientific history. Oh. What's going on in here? None of your business, nosey. Hmm. Well, all right. Hey! If that vegetable hat can tell us that hefty is strong, maybe it can tell me what an ette is. Power it up, brainy. Whoa. Fascinating. What happened? Somehow, instead of sending energy out, you absorbed it. Probably something to do with the fact that you're not a real... A real smurf? Go ahead, you can say it. No, no, I just meant that this machine wasn't built for a smurf of your, well, origins. Yeah, it's okay. I get it. Brainy. Hey, you know what? Let's all go have some fun. Yeah! - Pizza! - Smurfboarding! Smurfboarding! It's almost ready, Azrael. A pinch of newt poo. A gram of calcified fungus from between the toes of a yak. And a piece of cheese I left in my underpants last week. That ought to do it. Presto! Twelve spherical petrification modules. Or, as I like to call 'em, freeze balls. You're welcome, Azrael. Dinner is served. Ingrate. Besides, these freeze balls aren't for catching mice. They're for capturing those elusive smurfs. My holy grail. The gold at the end of my rainbow. The most potent magical ingredient in the world. Next slide. Imagine the power in 100 of them combined. How I've searched high and low, under every rock, it seems, with no sign of them anywhere. *(Azrael meowing asks Gargamel saw it.) *Gargamel: Not now, Azrael. I'm in the middle of a lecture. *My plan is simple. Find smurf village, capture all the smurfs, drain them of their magic and, finally, use that magic to become the most powerful wizard in the world! Oh, look at me with hair. What? Why didn't you say so in the first place? Blue blazes! I've spotted smurfs in the forest! Well, it's my telescope. Monty! Come, my majestic eagle. Your talons are digging into my shoulders. Ow! Oh, that's better. Now, fly. Go capture me some smurfs. No, no! No, you're going the wrong way! Ha-ha! Ooh! Whoo! Whoa! Huh! Hyah! Yeah! Ooh! Whoa. Whoa! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Oh, no. My turn! Safety third. Oh, boy. Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Yeah! Wow! Really takes your breath away, doesn't she? This is incredible! Whoa. Oh... uh-oh. Huh? Oh, no! She's getting way too close to the forbidden forest. She can't go over that wall. Come on. Whoa! Oh! No, no, no, wait. Don't go. Wait. Wait, who are you? Don't be afraid. Hey, you can't go in there. - Smurfette! - Smurfette! Smurfette, you okay? What happened? What happened? I saw a smurf. What? Who was it? I don't know, but he was wearing this. Smurfette! Code blue! Guys, come on. We've gotta get her. I have a bad feeling about this. Oh, do you? Does it have to do with the giant vulture carrying our friend off to Gargamel's lair? Monty, my regal raptor. You've done it, you've caught a smurf. Give me a kiss. Finally, you bring me what I've been asking for. A tiny, blue-skinned, shirtless... you! Let me out of here, you smurf-obsessed wannabe wizard. Oh, is that any way to talk to the man who brought you into this world? I'd prefer it if you just called me "papa." I would never call you that. Your loss. What's this? What are you hiding? Hand it over, you pseudo-smurf. Thank you, Azrael. Hmm. What do we have here? Hmm... A different design? Yes, of course, I noticed that right away. Slightly before you did, in fact. Where did you get it? I'm not telling you anything. Tell me. No. Tell me! No! You better tell me. No! Fine. Don't tell me. I won't. Stupid reverse psychology never works. Who cares? You've already given me what I need. Come along, Azrael. Ah, where on earth did I put those ingredients? Oh, I know this. Go left, then right, back handspring, stick the landing. Is it a person, book or movie? No one ever understands your hand signals, hefty. Ah, never mind. Just follow me and stay close. Wart of worm and hair of cat. Show me the home of this smurf hat. Long have you searched for these creatures of blue. But this hat comes from somewhere new. Yes. Where? Where does it come from? A village of smurfs, where enchantment grows. Oh. An entire village. Good. Go on. Go on. The location of which... Yes? Nobody knows. No! Just start with that. Start with "I don't know." Lousy cheap-o cauldron. Ow! But here is a clue. Fascinating. But what is it? Trees? Must be a symbol for something, or a code. Trees, trees, breeze, knees. Babies crawl on their knees. Check all the nurseries in the area! We're going to need to disguise ourselves as babies. Now, where can I get a giant diaper? Azrael, it's not your map. You want your own map, we'll get you your own map, but this is my... Wait a minute. Look what I found. Three tall trees, in the forbidden forest. We've never searched there before. I'm a genius. Psst. Azrael, it's time to take a road trip. Shh. Prepare my trail mix. Oh, Smurfette, congratulations. You've just led me to an undiscovered population of smurfs. They have no idea we even exist. I'll be like... They'll be all like, "oh, no!" And I'll be like... - And they'll be like... - "Run! No! "Run, run, run!" You evil little genius. The rotten apple doesn't fall too far from the tree after all. Does it? Get your fur and feathers in gear, boys. We leave at first light. Right after breakfast, say 8:00, 8:30. 9:00 at the latest. Wait, brainy, the map. I'm on it. Fine, maybe 9:30. Absolutely no later than 10:00, though. What the... It's a jailbreak! Go, go, go! They know my plans. They'll ruin everything! Is this safe? Well, it's a giant crossbow, so I'm gonna go with "no." Don't let them escape. Aah! Where are the seat belts? Get them! Get those smurfs! Fire in the hole! Get those smurfs! *Smurfette: Azrael's gaining on us. *Clumsy Smurf: Incoming bird! *Hefty Smurf: This might hurt. *Clumsy Smurf: No! Huh? *Come on. Smurf this way. *Run faster! Run faster! Why are our legs so short? Why are our feet so big? Why are my muscles so big? Really, man? Guys! Guys! A little help here. It's coming. Yes! All right! Well, I know four smurfs who have some explaining to do. Oh, boy. Hi. Oh, my gosh. Papa, you will not believe it. We ran into the forbidden forest. One at a time. One at a time. Please. Please. Smurfette sees this mystery smurf. We have to go to the forbidden forest. I've told you time and again, the forbidden forest is forbidden. And now you're talking about maps and mystery smurfs and Gargamel's lair. None of this makes any sense, and I really don't understand why you can't follow simple rules. You snuck out and it put you all in danger. Seems to me the only way I can keep you safe is if... You're grounded. Grounded? No, not grounded! What? No way! But, papa, but... Come on! No "buts." None of you are to take one step out of your mushrooms without telling me where you're going. Do you understand that? You're right, papa. Huh? What? Huh? You're right. I don't know what we were thinking. Uh, good. Because, as I was saying, you behaved completely irresponsibly. Yes. Right. Exactly. I couldn't agree more. Right, guys? Uh... yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about, Smurfette? Okay. Yes, so... And furthermore... In fact, I think we should all go to our rooms right now and think about what we've done. Well, I think that's... Tough, but fair. Come on, guys. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm moving. What's your endgame here? Did you get pecked on the noggin, Smurfette? Actually, Smurfette... Don't worry, papa. We are certainly going to do some thinking about what we did. And so forth. But we will definitely not be leaving our rooms until we've thought this whole thing out. And then, just for good measure, we'll think about it some more. Yes, but... Great talk, papa. Huh. I have no idea what I'm doing. Hefty, I know that's you. 'Sup, Smurfette? Brainy. How did you do that? And, I assume, clumsy. Whoa-oh! All good. What are you guys doing out here? We knew you were up to something. This is all my fault, hefty. But, Smurfette, the forbidden forest? It's too dangerous. I have to at least warn that lost village. Well, we're team smurf, and we stick together. So, we're coming with you. I can't ask you to do that. You didn't ask. We volunteered. Thanks, guys. First things first. Wow! Bug technology. Cool. According to my map, we should be standing right in front of this very large, tall stone wall. Check. One small step for four small smurfs... Okay. Let us proceed. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow. Smurfette! You okay, Smurfette? *Clumsy Smurf: Nice flowers. Nice flowers. Not nice flowers! *Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa... Whoa! Aah! *Smurfette: Where's Clumsy? *Hey! We just met! I'm not that kind of smurf. Watch out for the steep embankment. Clumsy, you okay? I'm seeing stars. Whoa. Ooh. Wow. Good work, clumsy. You may have discovered a new subspecies of flying Insectoid. Amazing! A winged, fire-breathing Anisoptera. Mmm, let's see. How should we classify this? Hmm, maybe. I mean, seems like an easy choice, but I'm just not sure. Yeah, okay, let's go with "dragonfly." Hopefully more "fly" than "dragon." Nope! Less "fly"! Less "fly"! Whoa, guys! Whoa... Whoa. I'm okay. A little help here. Monty, get off of me. I hate nature. How gaudy. Hmm? Ow, ow! Azrael, do something! It's quite painful. Stop laughing. This is not funny. Watch it! Let me go! Ouch. Hmm. These nests are made of some material I've never seen before. Whoa! You know, I think I've had enough of these flying antipastos for one day. Hey! What are you doing here? Well, I was thinking of getting a little place out here. Just a quiet place in the forest. It's a little breezy up on the hill. What do you think I'm doing out here? You are never going to find that village, Gargamel. Oh, Smurfette, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even know about those other smurfs. Get 'em, boys. Smurfintine formation! Go! Hey! Smurfintine! Get 'em, Azrael! Smurfintine! Smurfintine! Smurfintine! Ow! Smurfintine! Hey, you. You're the clumsy one, right? Huh? Think fast. I caught it! This isn't good. Clumsy, give 'em back their egg! Okay. Oh, come on! Clumsy! I'm trying! Whoa! I'm really, really sorry, guys! Over there! I didn't mean to poach your egg. Whoa! Well, they're toast. Ah, it doesn't matter. What's a few worthless pennies when there's a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow? Trust me, they're goners. I'm telling you, they've been fried to a blue crisp. They're smurf kabobs. Smurfberry flambe. Marshmallows. Can it, fuzzball. They're dead. Dead, I say! Hello? Smurfette? Echo! Darkness. I don't do well in the darkness. I have enough trouble in the daylight. Hold on, everyone. We need to find a way out of here. That is good thinking, "brainy." - Guys? - Darkness! Don't be scared. Just... Just think happy thoughts. It's not really happy times right now! Just stay in the light, clumsy. Too late. I'm walking into the darkness! What are you... why? I'm really freaking out, you guys! Stop, everyone. Okay, go into your backpacks, get out your emergency tunnel survival kit, find the small glass vial marked "light," and shake it really hard. Clumsy? How you doing? Okay, I guess. Just hang tight, clumsy. I'm not sure how long this will take or how long we'll be down here, so, everybody, whatever you do, don't eat all your rations. I just ate all my rations! Clumsy! I'm stress-eating! I'm coming, clumsy. Follow the sound of my voice. Wait! These tunnels are like a maze. We'll just get more lost. We gotta do something. I'm with her. Time for some action. We're doing this all wrong. Smurfette! - I'm close, clumsy. - Almost there. That's just the echo playing tricks on us. Anybody? I'm here. I'm here right around this corner. Hey, everybody? My light is going out. That is it! I'm punching us out of here. It's collapsing. Hefty! Put those fists away before you get us killed! At least I'm trying something. *Clumsy Smurf: I'm gonna blow us out of here! *Brainy Smurf: No! *Hefty Smurf: Oh, yeah! *Smurfette: Don't! *Clumsy Smurf: Too late! *Clumsy? Hmm? Hey, Smurfette. Clumsy! Whoa! Whoa! Hang on. I'm coming, clumsy bro. I got you, little buddy. Yeah! Yee-haw! Stampede! I think my rations are coming up. Oh! Whoa, whoa. What? What's so funny? Now, that's what I call "talking out of your butt." Oh, boys. Would anyone be interested in knowing that we're in sight of three tall trees? - All right. - Yeah, we are. And Bucky is gonna get us there extra fast. Bucky? Seems like a Bucky to me. Hit it, Bucky! Smurfette? Before you say anything, just listen. Now, I know yesterday I might have been a bit tough on you and the boys, and I know there are times I'm a little overprotective. Okay, a lot overprotective. But you have to understand, you snuck out. You have to be more careful. Smurfette, I know lately you may not realize, and I may not say it enough, but you are... You shine. So, anyway, we're Smurfy? I think you and the boys have been grounded long enough. Smurfette? Okay. I'm opening the door. And I'm walking in to talk more. You there? Smurfette. Hefty! Brainy! Clumsy! Oh, that's not even convincing. When I find those smurfs, I will ground them for a month of blue moons. Oh, what's going on in here? Hmm. Well, all right. Wow. Have you ever seen something so beautiful? Every day, Smurfette. Every day. - Don't be weird. - You don't be weird. We can camp here for the night. I'll start us a fire. Uh, fetch me some firewood, would you, hefty? Um, a "please" would be nice. Yes, it would, but I haven't earned my manners badge, so get me some firewood. Clumsy? You okay? Yeah, sure. It's been fun. Well, not tons of fun, but it's had its moments. Kind of. You know what I'm trying to say. It hasn't been that much fun. Well done, hefty. Well done. All right, step one, the wood should be stacked into a tepee-like structure. Step two, I tap this flint with a rock and... You're not even blowing on it. You're spitting on it. Hmm. That's odd. Perhaps the wood you collected was damp, hefty. According to my manual, it should spark right up. Hey, I've got an idea. No, no, no. No, no! No! No, no, no. No, no, no! Oh, oh, oh... You know, you're right, brain man. Your little book does come in handy. Shame. Shame on you. We'd be lost without this book. My name is brainy. I'm super smart. I'm the smart smurf. But I can't start a fire. Okay, the damage is minimal. The binding's still intact. It smells good. Just think, guys. After all this time, while we've been going about our Smurfy business back home, there's been other smurfs out there, just like us. Or they could be nothing like us. He's right. We should be prepared for whatever we find. Those other smurfs might not even be blue. Maybe they'll be orange. Ah. I like orange. What if they all wear glasses? Or have big, bushy mustaches. What if they have scaly skin and sharp teeth? And giant claws. And big, beady eyes. What if they have hands? Good one, bro. Listen, it doesn't matter what they look like. We still have to warn them. Gargamel's wrong about me. It's not my purpose to help him. I'm meant to save those smurfs. And we're gonna help you. We're team smurf, and we're in this together. And by "together," I mean me and you. And those guys. But mostly me and you. Okay, everyone. Smurfy selfie time. Say, "blue cheese." Blue cheese! Whoa. According to the map, we should be arriving at a river. Check. Wow. Whoa. It's like a workout for my eyeballs. Okay, Bucky, let's see how fast you can swim. Hyah! Whoa! Whoa! Come on, boy. You can do it. What's a little water? Hey. Uh-huh. What's that, Bucky? The river's unsafe and full of dangerous surprises at every bend? *Brainy Smurf: No. I didn't *get any of that. Perhaps Glowbunnies don't swim. That's too bad. We'd get there so much faster. Fear not, my intrepid team smurf. I didn't earn this raft-building merit badge for nothing. Boom! Nailed it. Impressive, brainy. Here. Ooh. Stylish and practical. Now, let's launch this bad boy. Wait. Remember, this strange river may hold untold surprises. We must be cautious. Cautious. Good point. And heave... Wait. The currents can be unpredictable. We must be alert and vigilant. Vigilance? Good call. Now, on three, two... Wait! We must make sure we always... Bark, bark, bing, bang! Pay attention to the... Bong, bong, bing, bang! Rate of speed of the... Berp, berp, bing, dang, bong, bong! Okay, and we are off. Heave-ho! Whoa! Bye, Bucky. Thanks for your help. - Don't worry, we'll be fine. - Bye, little Bucky bro. Hasta la bunny. See you on the way back! Hey. What is this thing? I wouldn't touch that if I were you. Oh. Now all I want to do is touch it. At this pace, Gargamel doesn't stand a chance. Look. If we follow this river, we'll be right on course. Right on course. Huh? To the end of our rainbow. Smurfs? I thought I left you for dead. Hang on, smurf crew. Gun it! What the... No. Whoa! Stop ruining things. Ruining things is my thing. What? Azrael, get me a bigger stick. Whoa! *Gargamel: Oh, dear. *Clumsy, pull the lever! Seriously? But you said not to. Is this a trick? Pull it now! Oh, no. Whoa! Whoa, whoa... Huh? What's this? Aah! Azrael! Do something. It's never gonna stop. Make the log stop spinning. This river is killing me. Whoa, whoa! Look out! Whoa! Whoa! I love you two. Yes! We did it! We did it! See, I always believed we would do it. Take that! Help! Help! All right. We're still on course. Double-time it, hefty. Help! I'm sinking! Please. I'm afraid of turtles! Uh, guys, what's he up to now? Help! Forget that guy. My cat can't swim. We gotta help him. Are you crazy? Why? Because it's what I do. Listen to him! But he's our sworn enemy. He is literally a villain. I can change! And I literally wear my heart on my sleeve, okay? That's your shoulder, not a sleeve. I like your tattoo! We're doing this. Smurfette, talk some sense into him. Brainy, I hate Gargamel more than anyone, but we're smurfs. We do the right thing. Thank goodness for it! And we have to save him. I just want to go on record that I'm decisively against this. Whatever. We're doing it. Sounds awesome! Use this. Grab on! I don't know about this. You won't regret it. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Such a kind smurf. Are you okay? Oh, I'm okay. Wet, a little tired, kind of waterlogged. Thanks for asking, but... I'm still evil, so... Enjoy drowning. Hope you're better swimmers than you are judges of wizards' character. Whoa! Whoa! Brainy. Hefty? You okay? Define "okay." Where's clumsy? Clumsy! Clumsy! Clumsy! Clumsy! I'm good. Run away! Run away! Hey. I think. *Brainy Smurf: My pack! My manual! No! No, no, no! No, no, no! My scout manual! This is all your fault! *Hefty Smurf: What? *Smurfette: Brainy, cut it out. *Oh, I'm sorry. Correction. *This is your fault, too. *Leave her out of this. *Smurfette: Hefty, I don't need you to fight my fights for me. *Wait, now you're mad at me, too? *Smurfette, you're the one that got us into this whole mess in the first place. *Hey, I was ready *to do this on my own. *Great. *So much for team smurf. *Clumsy Smurf: I want to yell about something! *Brainy Smurf: Stay out of this, Clumsy. *Hefty Smurf: That's it, Brain Man. It's time for *you to earn your manners badge. *Smurfette: Stop it! *Take cover! Whoa! Huh? Who are you? What do you want? Her. Huh? Move. Smurfette! What should we do with her? Look at that hair. Where's she from? And that dress. It's you. You're a girl. She's a girl. Oh. Oh. Oh. This is her. This is the smurf I was telling you about. The one from the wall? She's real? I'm Smurflily. Hi. I'm Smurfette. Oh, my geez-to-petes! I'm Smurfblossom. Nice to meet you. We don't have a Smurfette. But we do have Smurfpetal, Smurfclover, Smurfmeadow, Smurfdaisy, Smurfholly, Smurfhazel... Hey. Oh, everyone can just introduce themselves later. Look at you. You're so different. I mean, sorry, but it's true. Do you know how to start a fire with just rope and a stick? I do. I can show you. Actually, Smurfstorm can show you. She's the best at that kind of thing. Right, stormy? That means "yes." Have you ever seen a rainbow? What about a double rainbow? What about an upside down rainbow? So, is your favorite song... 'Cause mine is. Your dress is so pretty. Smurfblossom, remember, work on that filter, okay? Right. Filter, filter. What's your deal anyway? Oh, well, we came to warn you about Gargamel. Garga? Garga? Garga-what? He's a dangerous wizard who wants to capture all smurfs and use them for his evil magic. And he knows about your lost village. "Lost village"? You're the ones who are lost, not us. We have to take you to Smurfy grove. What do we do with these blue blobs? Oh, um... Bring them along. Come on, Smurfette. I'm gonna show you my room. You can tell me all about Gargasmell. But first, do you want to hear my favorite song again? All right, move. Dang! Girl smurfs mean business. You got that right. Open the gate! The girls are back! Ew! Where did they find them? Is there something wrong with them? Are they sick? Are they food? No, no, no. They're smurfs, just like us. Except, well, they're boy smurfs. "Boy." That's a funny word. Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy. Look at me. I'm a boy smurf. I like 'em. Where do they come from? - What is that? - Where is their hair? - You can see their tails. - Oh, look. Hey, watch it! Brainy's log, day two. We've encountered a rare new life-form. Are there more like you? They are at times very intimidating. Are you gonna stay here? And they smell nice. Hello, boy. More on that later. Oh, I want one! Boundaries! Okay, that... That's enough of that! They're my friends. That's hefty, brainy and clumsy. Hey, there! Hooptie, Berney, Klutzy. Got it. We should do name tags. Wait, where are your boys? You won't find any boys here. I am Smurfwillow, leader of the smurfs. This is called an introduction. So, now, you go. Uh, I, um... Don't get too close, Willow. Something's not right here. I promise we're only here to help. We came to warn you about the evil wizard, Gargamel. He has a map with a landmark leading him to three tall trees. Show 'em, brainy. Snappy. Don't try any funny stuff, bug. I hate to break it to you, but those aren't trees. They're waterfalls. Gargamel's going the wrong way. And if he went there, then that means the swamp of no return. There's no way he could survive. *Gargamel: Aah! Help me! Help me! *There's no way I'll survive! With all due respect, you don't know Gargamel. Yeah, well, with no due respect, you don't know us. Trust us, he's a goner. Stormy, why don't you do a little recon? Check things out. And leave you here with these four? No way. Look at that one. Huh? He can't be normal. I think we'll be just fine here. Spitfire! Okay. So, what does this Gargamel look like? Oh, you know, he's your typical wizard. Long black robe, lives alone with his cat and his bird. It's sad, really. You're coming with me. You can point him out. Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no way he's getting on a... I feel the need to remind you, my name is clumsy. Clumsy! Don't worry. Clumsy's in good hands. Oh, stormy is the sweetest, in her own way. All right, girls, in the meantime, our guests have had a long journey, so let's show them some hospitality, Smurfy grove style. Whoo-hoo! Come on. Huh? Go. Hey, Smurfette, check this out. Come on! *Whoa! *Gargamel: Flap, Monty. *Flap vigorously. Use your mighty condor wings to carry your master to safety. Ouch! Oh! Ow! Sweet mercy, they're bottom feeders! Devil fish! Where is my lost smurf village? Huh? What? Smurfs! Why won't they just die? Monty, retrieve them! He exists, all right. He and his stinky cat and his dodo bird. They've been terrorizing us the entire journey. He didn't like us from the start. He never could find our village. So then he made a plan to capture us all, and that's when Gargamel created Smurfette. Anyways... Hold up. Smurfette was created by this Gargamel? Oh, yeah. From a lump of Clay. Really cool story, actually. I knew I didn't trust her. Oh, you'd like her if you get to know her. She's just like you, but nice. Hold on. We got a bogey coming in. That's no bogey. That's Gargamel's big dumb bird! Here, you fly. Uh, that's not a great idea. Flying's not really my thing. Have you ever flown before? Well, no. Well, then how do you know it's not your thing? He's coming back. Uh... oh, what do I... Hurry! What do I do now? Oh! Good move! Whoa, whoa! Now, do it again! Okay. Thanks. Hyah! Oh! Whoa! Yes. Wait a minute. I don't recognize that other smurf. They found my lost smurf village. Hey, I've got an idea. Spitfire, spit fire! I like the way you think. I guess I'm pretty good with dragonflies after all. Monty! What have they done to you, my glorious bird of prey? Smurfs! Hmm? Hmm. Shiatsu or Swedish? Probably Swedish. So, about all that stuff I said back at the beach... I guess I kind of overreacted. Ow. Yeah. Me, too. So, uh, we good? - Yeah, we're good. - Hey, guys. Isn't this place awesome? Doesn't she look great? It's like she's one of us now. She should stay with us forever. Uh, one, she always looks great. And two, this is getting a little out of hand, don't you think? Sorry. I can't take you seriously with that mask on your face. Hey, Smurfette, we did what we came here to do. These smurfs know about Gargamel. So, come on, let's start thinking about heading home. Home? But I... I... It's time to go. Smurfette? Incoming! Turns out I do do well with dragonflies. They were right. This Gargamel character, he's real, and he's headed this way. Oh, no. See? I told you... Put a cork in it, Smurfette. The way I see it, you and your little boyfriends led him straight to us. But, of course, that was your plan all along, wasn't it? Smurfstorm, easy. Little miss yellow hair isn't even a real smurf. She was created by Gargamel. The clumsy blob told me so himself. What? Smurfette, is that true? It's not like that. She was made to help him find smurfs. Smurfette came here to help you. We all did. It's okay, hefty. This is all my fault. Girls, protection mode. Come on, bro, let's help. Isn't this exciting? Shh! Hold. Hold. Now! Surrender, wizard. What? Wizard? Oh, he's so old. Is he wearing a disguise? Look at his face. This is impossible. He doesn't seem so tough. Yeah, Gargamel! That's what you get when you attack Smurfy grove. Gargamel? What are you talking about? No, no, no, wait. This is a mistake. What? Smurfette? That's papa. Papa? Papa? There's another funny word. Papa. Papa. Papa! Smurfblossom, no. Breathe deep and step away from the papa-thing. Everyone, meet papa smurf. Hey. Hey. Hi. I'm Ssmurfjade. Where are the boys? 'Sup, papa? Hello there. I rode a dragonfly! Well, thank goodness you're all okay. How did you find us? I wasn't born yesterday, you know. Yeah, that's clear. Look, you four are coming home with me. Now. Not so fast, papa-thing. "Papa-thing"? Are you the one in charge here? That's right. I'm Smurfwillow, leader of the smurfs. I'm afraid that's quite impossible, because I happen to be the leader of the smurfs. Whatever you say, papa-thing. Excuse me, do you mind not calling me that? Well, if the thing fits... By the way, where'd you learn those moves? Self-taught, actually. Impressive. Thank you. You're quite welcome. Okay, not really sure what's happening here, but, uh, what about Gargamel? What? What is all this talk about Garga... Gargamel! Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? No! I hope so. - Everybody run! - Arm yourselves! Prepare for Garmageddon! This way! Spears, now! Gargamel says freeze! That's right. Smurf-tested, Gargamel-approved, grade-a, first-class, high-octane freeze balls. Freeze ball! Freeze ball! Freeze ball! Freeze ball! Look out! Well, I assume they'll still work if I don't shout "freeze ball," but we'll never know. - Freeze ball! - Smurfette! Hefty. It's over, Smurfette. Monty, bag o' smurfs. Ah! It's time for you to run. No! Three more for pickup. Ah, Smurfette. My little creation. You finally did what you were made for. No. It's not true. Of course it is. Why do you think you led me here? Why do you think you saved me on the river? It was all part of the plan. No matter how hard you try, you can't escape your destiny. And now, you're really of no use to me anymore. Freeze ball! Ah, yes, these freeze balls only work on real smurfs. And you are nothing more than a lump of Clay. Thank you for everything. Smurfette? How could you do this to us? Because it was her purpose. Smurfy thing finder for four small smurfs. Huh? I'm sorry, you guys. No, snappy. I've done too much damage already. We're team smurf, and we're in this together. - We're smurfs. - We do the right thing. I'm not even a real smurf. I'm not a real smurf. We need more power! - Faster, Monty. - Faster. Yes. The jiggler's jiggling. The spinny thing is spinning. The smoke is going up. The bubblers are bubbling. Hubbuda, Hubbuda. Perfect! Oh, it's almost there. Just keep running, old bird. Here's what we're going to do. I pick this lock. Yeah? We swing to that shelf. Yeah? Pick up something heavy. Yeah? And use it to kill the bird! Yeah! What? Yeah! Wait. You want us to kill the bird? Fine. We'll just knock him unconscious. Genius! All right, then. Let's do this. They have an escape plan, but they're going to need our help. It's time to rock the cage. Don't be weird. Yes! Okay. Now! Stop that, Azrael. I can't calibrate my machine with all your incessant yammering. Oh, yes, Azrael, listen to it. It purrs like a kitten. Oh, look at that. Everything is in sync. Yes, yes. Good. Sweet mercy! It's another jailbreak! No, Gargamel. No. Quiet down. You'll all get your turn. In you go! No! Yes, that's the stuff. Oh, I can feel it. I can feel the power. Oh! Check out my wizard mane. Really, man? When I'm through with these smurfs, I'll have all the power I've ever dreamed of! Almost all the power. Huh? Smurfette. Smurfette, what a lovely surprise. Are you done crying in the woods? I've shed enough tears for those smurfs. What's this? I'm done pretending to be something I'm not. I've come to repledge my loyalty to you, my true papa. Impossible. She can't be serious. No, no, no, she would never. Even if I did believe you, which I don't, what could you possibly offer me that I don't already have? A tiny little massage that I can't even feel? How about the rest of the smurfs? Yeah, right. Wait, what? Just think of all the power you'll have once I reveal the location of smurf village. Oh, let's see now. One hundred more smurfs, that's 10 times the power... No. If you carry the one... Whatever. It's a lot more power. Now, why are you doing this? I'm so tired of being good. Use your power to transform me back to my evil self. Your loyalty has returned to you. So, do we have a deal? Smurfette, no! Quiet, you vile blue rats. I'm thinking. Okay, I'm done. Let's do it. One evil Smurfette coming right up! Wait. Of course! What? Oh, what's happening? No! No! What are you doing? Yeah! Go, Smurfette! Whoo! Azrael, help! More power! What are we going to do? Bingo. We Smurfboard. Whoa! Team smurf! Payback time. No! Smurfintine! Smurfintine! We're free! I'm okay. Yeah! I thought we were goners. All right. Everybody. Thank goodness. All right! I'm okay! She did it! She did it! Where's Smurfette? Hey. Smurfette? What happened? This is what she once was. No. No, no, no. There's gotta be something I can do. There's gotta be a spell. There's gotta be something. I know there is. Where is it? What page? Must be here. "Alchemy, vanishing, "lead into gold." No, that's not it. Papa. Which spell? Which spell? Papa. We won't find the answer to this in a book. Let's take her home. She never thought she was a real smurf. But she was the truest smurf of all. *Smurfette: Why is everyone crying? *Clumsy Smurf: It's Smurfette. She's a lump of Clay. *Smurfette: No, Clumsy, it's me. I'm right here. *Clumsy Smurf: Smurfette? It's Smurfette. It's Smurfette! *Brainy Smurf: Quiet, Clumsy. *Papa Smurf: Let him be, Brainy. We all grieve in our own way. *Clumsy Smurf: She's here! *Hefty Smurf: Poor little bro. I know how he feels. Yeah! Smurfette! *Brainy Smurf: Oh, Hefty, not you, too. *Hefty Smurf: You're all right! Don't ever do that to me again. *Smurfette: I won't. I promise. *Huh? *Yes, yes, yes! You never cease to amaze me. So, as for that burning question... *Brainy Smurf: What's a Smurfette? Well, I don't need a book to tell you she's... Right. Smurfette can't be defined by just one word. She's many things. *Smurfblossom: Oh, she doesn't know it yet, but she's my new best friend. *Clumsy Smurf: Smurfette is a bunny wrangler. *Smurfstorm: She's tough. Not as tough as me, but tough enough. *Smurfette can be anything *she wants to be. *Nosey Smurf: What's going on in there? *Jokey Smurf: Goodbye! *Snappy: Say, "Blue cheese!" *All: Blue cheese! *Gargamel: I was this close to getting rid of the smurfs, and you ruined everything. I knew I should have gotten a dog from the shelter. I'm not saying this to be cruel, okay? I'm saying it to be constructive. You're a useless feline. That's just mean. That's mean. There was a line, and you crossed it. I was just jib-jabbing, and you crossed that line, and that stung. I demand an apology. You were going to learn this *one way or another, but I am not your real father. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is destroying the smurfs. Any thoughts? I mean, I have thoughts. But I always like to spitball off of your thoughts. Azrael, I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Your ideas are terrible. I can't think with this music. Can someone please shut off the music? And what's with all these words scrolling in front of me? Did the smurfs do this so that I would be distracted and not be able to destroy them as easily? "Matte painters"? I don't even know what that means. Someone just made that up, right? I feel sorry for whoever "matte" is. "Look development artists"? Oh, yes, of course, let's develop some looks. Like maybe a really angry look, because you two totally ruined my plans. Am I going mad, Azrael? For the last time, get them to shut off this music! *The End